Who's Big Bertha?

Carol got me a very nice gift card, one of several gifts from her for Christmas. (I'm spoiled) So, I had to go looking for what I was going to get with it. I didn't realize there were so many things that shared it's name. I don't even know a "Bertha" but I knew I think I needed one. Not like this huge hamburger. . . although, I've had a few similar.

I didn't know about this huge, villainous cartoon character . . . I knew about this WWI artillery gun . . . ( I liked History in school). . . just don't think the Government would allow me to own one. I would only fire into the bad zip codes, honest.

But, I didn't know about this boat-pulled, water-thinga-majiggy; fun, but we don't have a boat.

Nor, did I know about this huge drum either; the "world's biggest" (in TX of course). . . . but I do like the Longhorns.

But, I knew about this Big Bertha, what I went looking for. Actually, the Diablo. Sounds, bad... Gotta love it for the name alone! As for a Big Bertha, I found out you can shoot one, eat one, ride one, fight with one or hit golf balls with one.

I just hope it improves my golf game . . . it sure felt good hitting on the practice range before I bought it. Thanks, Mrs Santa Clause! No one tell Mark, let me surprise him with it on our first tee :-) I'm thinking of taking the cover from my old driver and putting it on this new one!

a sign of Christmas

As I drove away from the house yesterday morning I noticed this huge raven in the street. He (assuming he was male) didn't fly away as I slowly left the driveway. He hopped a few times towards the curb, at least getting out of the middle of the road. Was he the first of those four Calling Birds I was getting this year? Probably not.... what is a calling bird? I know he wasn't the partridge.

Merry Christmas to all. . .

Scroogenomics 101.2009.84780-89123

Finally, what I've said for years is now supported by someone with a higher education than mine . . . . In case you feel the need to get out and buy last minute Christmas presents; don't. Recent information from CBS Sunday morning show of 12.20.09, gave us the revelation that doing this is actually bad for the economy. I knew it was bad for mine. It's suggested that if a recipient of a gift he/she doesn't need/like is actually a waste of 20% of that money spent. All this adds up to $13 billion wasted each year. (see link)
http://press.princeton.edu/titles/8972.html

Unless your last-minute-have-to-buy-gift is a an ugly-Christmas sweater, then read on. They're called ugly for a reason, hellooooooooooo, no one likes them, so why buy them? They have become subject of a new phenomenon however, The Ugly Christmas Sweater Party. (Originated by school teachers who receive way too many of them.) *If you own one of these sweaters, but you don't think it's ugly, sorry if this offends you. If I had an ugly Christmas sweater I'd be sure to wear it Christmas Eve, and start a new family tradition. If I had one. I don't, thankfully, and I'm fine with that. Although I've a few ties I wasn't sure of. . .
*See link if you're interested in what to do with your ugly Christmas sweaters hidden away in the bottom drawer. . . . =-/ http://www.uglychristmassweaterparty.com/

Blood draw experience

I'm sure this looked ten-times bigger to Cohen. "Just a quick sting." the nurse said, "and then it's all over." He was already worried with how bad it might be, had wanted to just go home even before I came to help Lindsay with what she knew, would be hard on her - holding him still while not fainting herself. "No, no I don't wanna do this!" Nurse: "Show me your muscles, let me see how strong you are." Cohen: "No, you don't want to see my muscles, you're trying to trick me." (his arms were locked tight, folded across his chest) Me: "It won't be so bad, let's just do it and get it over with." "I promise, it will only hurt a little and then it won't hurt anymore." "No, no, no, I don't want to do this." (I didn't want to do it either and I'd have gladly traded places with him.) As he started to scream even louder, I closed the room door to the small, cramped blood draw room, hoping to shield mom and little brother from hearing his fright. I held him on my lap. With tears running down his cheeks, my leg over his and holding both his arms, two nurses (vampires in disguise) drew blood from a very small needle,also keeping his arm locked down solid. After about 30 seconds I could feel him relax and as calm as I could, said, "See, it's almost over and it doesn't hurt any more...." After the second vial was full, I told him to count to three and we'll be done. All four of us started counting, but with Monkey Boy counting faster, we finally reached three. . . . but I'd guessed wrong, they were on the fourth vial. Cohen, as matter-of-fact as you can said, "We counted to three, you can take it out now." Just about then, out it came, and a sigh of relief by he and I were both evident.

We had made a pact before all this, kind of a deal, something as a reward. We can have a camp-out tonight, two monkey boys and I will stay up watching The Nightmare Before Christmas then hopefully, enjoy sweet dreams..... I wasn't my most pleasurable experiences, but I was glad I was able to be there with him. Sitting in the waiting room, even before we went back for the blood draw, I think he had an idea what was coming, he suggested I do it for him, or even Sandler. Or, "Can't they just look at the computer?" (thinking they have all the answers...such as 'why can't we google all of life's questions?')

See Lindsay's blog for details: http://mirandafam.blogspot.com/

Christmas thoughts

The only way I'll see a white Christmas is by watching the movie............never experienced one.
I've never experienced a one-horse-open sleigh ride.....would love to be on one, under a blanket with Carol, hot chocolate, peace and quiet. (this is how we'd look )

My favorite Christmas carol makes up for what I don't have, as the words to Little Drummer Boy, kinda says it all. Pa rump a pump a pump... good music ads to it. (not counting the words we made up to Jingle Bells while in Vietnam. . . . shot gun shells, mortar shell, VC in the grass...)

Here's a modern version of a little drummer boy. Hope to see some of you on that magical night!! You can find me at Walgreen's getting doing my shopping - :-)

It's the little things that count. . .

Did you know that little chocolate chip evolved solely for the purpose to go into the chocolate chip cookie? In 1930 Ruth Wakefield,

the owner of the Toll House Inn was frustrated when she didn’t have enough cocoa powder for her cookies. Woman "know-how" took over. She found a semi sweet Nestles chocolate bar, chopped it up finely, and stirred the little pieces into her cookies. Viola! (I doubt she really said this nor knew of the magnitude of her actions, this little seemingly, unimportant act of ingenuity.)The pieces didn’t melt away and the cookies were an immediate hit with everyone. Word spread. Soon after her recipe was printed in the local newspaper. With American ingenuity the Nestles Family invented the chocolate chip. Amazingly, we now consume over six billion chocolate chip cookies, over 30% of all cookies eaten yearly worldwide. I can’t imagine Osama eating one, unless it was laced with Prozac or Valium or other medication to turn him into a peace lover, or as last resort maybe arsenic …. They have a magical calming and warming quality to them. I can't begin to list the favorite ones I’ve eaten over the years, certainly my mom’s and my Aunt Margaret’s in Henderson as a little six year old boy come to mind. I’ve even made my share of them.(my secret is @ tbs of water to help them stay moist) But, the best ones are those made by someone else. Like those found on your door step after a door bell ring. Opening the door to no one standing there, just this lonely, little Christmas plateful of chocolate chip cookies, red-bow or not, begging to be eaten; shared, of course, as someone thought enough to share their love of these magical eats. I’ve never had a bad one, just some really good ones. The uneven shaped ones always evoke home-made goodness and childhood memories! With or without pecans and just a tad dark on the bottom. . . yummy. (Note to health conscience readers - don't waste your time trying to make them "healthy" they won't be the same.) I've eaten many sent to me in the mail from home while in the Army. (usually arriving in little pieces in a brown paper wrapped box) As if holding an escape from the military madness we all lived with, I shared them with only my closest buddies. Gone in sixty seconds. I've eaten them in strangers' homes while on duty, some in not-too clean-looking environments; it would be rude to reject the love they wanted so share. Thanks to all those who make and freely share them. This isn't an earth shattering revelation, but I felt the need to blog . . .

Ron's top ten bicyle trivia facts

1. The first human powered land vehicle was constructed by Giovanni Fontana in 1418. (I got my first bike sometime around 1954)
2. The term "bicycle" first entered into popular usage in France in the 1860s.
3. The prototype of the mountain bike was not developed until 1977. (I rode a mountain bike while a bike cop 1998 - 2001 where I even learned how to traverse stairs. Funnest job I ever had!)

4. The longest "tandem" bike ever built was almost 67 feet long and could seat 35. (I call dibs on the last seat.)
5. The smallest adult bicycle ever created had wheels made from silver dollars. ??
6. I crashed into a parked car once while kicking at a dog biting at my foot & not watching where I was riding. I was about 5 years old. I cried.
7. The fastest speed ever recorded on a bicycle was attained by American Olympic Cyclist and Ironman triathlon competitor John Howard, when he reached 152.2 mph in 1985. My fastest speed was 45 mph down Little Cottonwood Canyon, SLC. I'll never go that fast again on skinny little tires. . . .
8. Lance Armstrong's heart is one-third larger than "normal." (Lance is the seventh cousin of Katie Couric.) My heart has a stent & I don't know who my seventh cousin is.

9. There are roughly one billion bicycles in the world (about twice as many as motor vehicles) I own three of them.

10. According to Transportation Alternatives, 10% of New York City's work force--approximately 65,000 humans--commute by bicycle. (And I rode the subway or took a cab while in NYC!)

This little guy could be riding exactly like this when he's 70

years old... ya never know. Hopefully, not with the training wheels :-)